Things that make me laugh & smile

Jimisms:
"Hoe we going?"
"A pumming, a pumming."
"FUP!"
"There's a spiggitto under the fridge!"
"I'm sorry I can't greet you properly right now, but I'm weary from carrying the milk."
"What's a virginsea?" (borrowed from Briana)

Grandmaisms:
"Go to grass!"
"If it isn't mine, it's urine."
"Love ya, Love ya."
"OW! Do you have to go all the way to China?"
"Oh, your hair is getting so long!"
"We're gonna have the funzies!"
Grandma was in hospice care and they couldn't find her. Kathy found her in man's bed. When asked about it, she said "Was he any cute?"
Grandma was found drinking Roger's beer, not knowing what it was. Kathy said, "Mom! That's beer. I didn't know you drank that." Grandma said: "There are a lot of things you don't know about me!"

Jim: there are too many to list...
Endless Movie Lines
Ridiculous puns
We were bowling and is was his turn. He went to throw the ball and fell on his chest, sliding 6' into the lane. We started screaming, "Good trick!!!!" He got up, brushed himself off and said, "It wasn't a trick."

Jennifer:
Calling Glycerin "Gly-cerin"
The list of metaphors from school this year...hilarious.

Justin:
Well, I'm too worried about his today to write anything funny, but he makes me happy.
Not true...
"How does this work?" The phone rings..."hellopen."
"My magich didn't work."

Daniel:
"I hate you!"
"These treats are guaranteed to make your dog do tricks." Dog sitting there pathetically!
Other various commercials.
"Thoth."

Briana:
"Briana, my heart."
"Now a warning???"
"Butiful!"
"Weight Loss Commercial"
"What's the difference between jelly and ham?"
Calling "lava" "Yava!"
Totally deadpan: "Gina, you're on fire."
Briana having to carry feces aka Theses to the library for work!!!

These are the things that make me smile and laugh. No doubt there will be many more of these to come!